Paryushana

Never thought that I'll missing it. Never did I imagine that I would find myself yearning for the traditions of Paryushan, a festival that has been an intrinsic part of my identity since childhood. Without truly understanding it's significance, I practice it for three reasons :- To stay connected to my roots, to learn discipline and commitment (even though it's just a once-a-year thing, and for the fact that I've done this ever since I can remember), and to value the importance of food in my life (never taking that for granted, haha). I'm not the religious kind, but like every other Jain, it felt like my time and like every religious festival, we took pride in ours. Even though our stomachs told a different story (obviously because of fasting), our hearts felt much purer than on the regular days of the year.

The absence of family and community makes the experience feel incomplete, as if a part of my cultural fabric has been temporarily misplaced. I never thought I'd miss the jain dishes Mum prepared. And I never had to worry about deciding what to cook, because Mom took care of everything. She didn't just fast herself, but also made sure all of us got through our fasts and broke our fast properly, together as a family. I never thought I'd miss that prayer Dad recited to break our fast at sunrise. And alarms Granny gave us to signal when it was almost sunset and finish eating. How my siblings and I would rush and compete with each other, even in these slight moments. How we used to wake up wanting to eat anything and everything on that empty stomach after the final day of fasting.

Reflecting on these experiences have now made me realized two things: that while bhaavna (devotion), can drive individual practice, there is an undeniable power in the collective energy of a shared religious environment. Despite missing the comfort and warmth of family, I take pride in the lessons and values that Paryushan continues to instill in me, even from afar.

Micchami Dukkadam!